My testimony of a life reborn
By Johan Viljoen
When I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2008, my life came to a grinding halt. I couldn’t believe what was happening, although I had almost been expecting it, since diabetes ran strongly in our family. My grandfather, my father, all his brothers, and my sister had it, but I wasn’t prepared or ready to receive the news - it was terrible.
What made it more terrifying for me, was the fact that I had also had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heartburn, and ‘dikderm’ problems. I had also experienced several heart attacks and now I had diabetes! The cherry on the cake was that my GP was not able to educate me or refer me to a dietitian to assist me with my diabetes. I didn’t know what to do..
Dealing with diabetes my way
From my diagnosis in 2008, until one day in 2016, I had to cope with this condition on my own and it was a total disaster - my blood glucose levels kept on rising, and I kept on ignoring them. That was how dealt with it - ignoring all signs and wakeup calls, I lived a life of denial. Depression and mood swings were my constant companions – my mood varied daily from good to terrible. At one moment, I would want to kill myself, a little while later I was attacking and verbally abusing others from my co-workers to my wife and children, and then I wallowed in self-pity. My life was out of control!
I started to hide myself in alcohol and food. I would drink and eat as much as I could every day and in these actions, I found my enjoyment. My life spiraled downwards rapidly and I was the only one who couldn’t see it happening. I also didn’t listen to anybody. Unlike other people who lose a leg, finger or toes, I had to be circumcised, and still I continued living a life of denial.
I gained weight, and in August 2016, I weighed 148.8 kg and my blood pressure was 180/160. I didn’t test my blood glucose at all and I’d been using heartburn medicine daily. I was pale, my cholesterol levels were ‘through-the-roof’, and I had to take a diuretic as well. I continued to ignore my condition until the 7th of September 2016L On that day, I passed out while driving, about 45 km from the nearest hospital. I only woke up in hospital later that evening, with my blood glucose level at 29 mmol/l. Luckily, I did not crash when I passed out, but when I regained consciousness, I knew I was in trouble - I had to do something to save myself from myself.
the road to remission
My GP hooked me up with a dietitian, Mariska, a small but indomitable young lady, and my whole life changed when I met her. I immediately recognized her determination - I knew not to fool around with her, and I didn’t. My road to remission started with this dietitian and I promised her that I would work with her – Mariska introduced me to an eating plan, she provided me with education about my conditions, and she helped me to realize the lifestyle changes needed to begin my journey back to health.
This was all new to me, but I understood if I did not labour on this project, Mariska would not be able to help me. I had to change my attitude, values and beliefs in life; I had to come out of the denial closet, and I had to start facing the facts. It was hard, because I was building a character, defining a Johan that I was not. I had to work on psychological issues such as:
- Selfishness
- Cruelty
- Ignorance
- Manipulation
- Depression
- Suicidal thoughts
- Negativity
I had to go through tough changes, none of which was easy. I had to learn to accept when I was wrong, I had to recognize selfishness and cruelty and go back and apologize for it. I had to stop being ignorant, and to do this, I had to stop my world, and search for the real person in me, the person which God made me to be.
This was certainly my toughest journey ever. During my sessions with Mariska, I learned about treatment targets. At first, I did not understand the fuss behind the target issue, but during my education sessions, a new world started to open for me. I started to understand target levels, what my levels were and where they should be. I understood that if I could reach these levels I wouldn’t be cured, but I’d be healthy. So, together, after discussing risks and benefits, we set some targets to aim for:
| My initial Levels | My Personalised Targets | |
| Blood Glucose: | 28 – 29 mmol/l | 4.5 – 7.0 mmol/l |
| HbA1c: | 13.8 % | 6.5 – 6.9 % |
| Waist circumference: | 148 cm | 96 cm |
| Weight: | 148.9 kg | 105 kg |
I had to dig in and start working, because where I was and where I needed to be were far apart. I learned something else critical during my education sessions, something I never realized before, but once I did, it motivated me so strongly that I became almost possessed to change. I learned that my mood swings and depression could be two symptoms of uncontrolled diabetes. Wow, suddenly my life started to make sense!
I now was motivated to do better, motivated to change, motivated to be me again and not the monster into which poor control of my diabetes had changed me.
I also learned about the functions of the pancreas and liver, the roles each plays in diabetes, and how high cholesterol influences diabetes. My head started to explode with all this knowledge. I now knew that diabetes doesn’t have to be a death sentence. To triumph over diabetes, I needed to adopt a new lifestyle, a lifestyle not just for me, but also within reach of everybody who wants it, for anyone who is hungry enough to change for the better. I learned how to experiment with foods and what benefits various foods held for my body. I learned that I didn’t have to eat everything that comes my way. I learned how to plate my food in reasonable portions, and I learned not to hide from the world. I have rights and choices and if I exercise these, I can make healthy restaurant choices. The education I received changed my life; it changed my thoughts and expectations; it made me positive and it opened my eyes.
After three months
After three months following my new road, without deviation, my levels changed dramatically:
| My initial Levels | My Personalised Targets | After three months | |
| Blood Glucose: | 28 – 29 mmol/l | 4.5 – 7.0 mmol/l | 5.4 – 5.8 mmol/l |
| HbA1c: | 13.8 % | 6.5 – 6.9 % | 5.4 % |
| Waist circumference: | 148 cm | 96 cm | 130 cm |
| Weight: | 148.9 kg | 105 kg | 131 kg |
After ONE YEAR
And, on 7 September 2017, one year later, my blood glucose ranged between 4.8 and 5.4 mmol/l, my HbA1c was 5.2 %, my waist circumference was down to 112 cm and my weight was down to 110 kg!
| My initial Levels | My Personalised Targets | After one year | |
| Blood Glucose: | 28 – 29 mmol/l | 4.5 – 7.0 mmol/l | 4.8 – 5.4 mmol/l |
| HbA1c: | 13.8 % | 6.5 – 6.9 % | 5.2 % |
| Waist circumference: | 148 cm | 96 cm | 112 cm |
| Weight: | 148.9 kg | 105 kg | 110 kg |
This was amazing! The hard work paid off; the impossible for me just became possible, but not without some tough sacrifices.
People started laughing at me when they noticed what I ate in restaurants. They went out of their way to discourage me and called me crazy, saying, “Eat and enjoy your life, stop wasting your time with all the crap the doctors are telling you!”, and, “It’s okay to cheat every now and then”. The psychological battles I had to go through were excruciating, but it was well worth it – I had blood results in my hand that showed no matter what, if you work hard and if you believe you can change then you have something to live for.
I am a completely new person. I discovered that, over the years, I had broken my wife, Naomi into a million pieces, but I now have the opportunity to help her mend again. In the process, I have fallen in love with Naomi all over again. I am on a new journey, one that is joyful, magical and amazing, a road well worth walking. I have left my previous road of denial where I feared change and felt unworthy.
Through my education and lifestyle adjustments and with the support of my wife and dietitian, I’ve succeeded in achieving a successful remission of my diabetes.
IN CONCLUSION
To have diabetes is not a death sentence, nor something of which to be ashamed. You most certainly cannot infect others with it, and thus you should not be a societal outcast. Diabetes is a sign of a lifestyle that needs fixing - the only person who can fix it is you; if you aren’t willing to work hard and put effort into your lifestyle, nobody else can and will do it for you.
I am proud to have diabetes, although my condition is now in remission. I enjoy my new lifestyle and being involved in diabetes awareness is now a focus point in my life. I attend Conversation Mapå group sessions regularly, where I motivate other people with diabetes by sharing my journey. I have been where you are today; I have Gwalked the line’, and my line changed as education and change entered my life. I am still Johan, just a better Johan, and so it can be with you.
Make a choice to live healthy, eat healthy and exercise daily - go on the journey of discovering the better version of you trapped within.
You have nothing to lose but burdens, like weight, high blood glucose, poor health and lost potential, and you have so much to gain. I urge you to see a registered dietitian and work with him or her in beating diabetes through education and lifestyle change!